


Baby Talk

by dri_br



Series: Breathing Through Silent Blocks [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Implied Mpreg, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:25:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dri_br/pseuds/dri_br
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the only one to want this was Noah's greatest fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Talk

**Baby Talk**

For once Noah managed to park his car behind Kurt’s before lunch time on Sunday.  
  
He had stayed up until late the night before having some beers with his crew at a local sports bar after wrapping things up for the week at the renovation site in Toledo. Still he had missed Ben and Kurt hard enough to forget how tired he really was, wolf down his breakfast and be back on the road before nine. It all paid off the moment Noah opened the door to his house calling for his boys and Ben barreled from the kitchen straight to his arms.  
  
“NONO BACK! NONO BACK, PAPA!”  
  
Noah laughed raising Ben above his head to blow raspberries on the baby’s tummy. Ben shrieked and in his joy Noah forgot all about long drives and the dust from the road. This was home, everything Noah had longed for and that his deadbeat dad had robbed of him, of his ma and sis when he walked away from them all those years ago.  
  
Everything he had given up when he let Beth be adopted.  
  
Everything his boys brought into his life when they came back to Noah almost one year ago.  
  
“Hey there, little buddy. Were you good to papa while your old man was away? Did you take care of papa for me?”  
  
“NONO HERE, PAPA!”  
  
“Papa could hear you the first time, Ben.”  
  
Noah lowered Ben enough to hold the kid against his upper body and to see beyond the baby’s head. Kurt was leaning against the bookcase that separated the dinning room from the living room, wearing skinny jeans and one of Noah’s shirts, a blue one that highlighted the color of his eyes and made Noah wonder how he could keep doing this, driving away from his guys every fucking weekend for the past couple of months.  
  
And the smile! God, Noah would live for that smile for the rest of his life and never get tired of it if he ever grew the balls to ask Kurt to move in with him for once and for all.  
  
Ben smiled and stretched his arm towards Kurt, opening and closing his little fingers in a cute invitation to have his Papa join them.  
  
“Here, Papa! Kiss Nono hello.”  
  
Noah laughed and winked at Kurt. “You heard the baby, Papa. You gotta kiss Nono hello.”  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes but put more spring in his stride than the annoyed man he was pretending to be would.  
  
“You two are impossible,” Kurt complained, pecking him on the cheek. “Happy now, Ben? Papa kissed Nono hello. Now Papa’s gonna kiss BEN!”  
  
Ben shrieked and hid his face against Noah’s neck as Kurt started blowing kisses all over his face.  
  
“PAPA, STOP, PAPA!”  
  
Kurt blew a couple more kisses on his son’s head, then rested his face against Ben’s fine hair, joy cricking in his eyes as he smiled up at Noah. Then without saying a word he reached behind Noah’s head to lower Noah’s lips to his for a kiss that started soft and innocent, until the rich taste of Kurt and coffee and the sugary smell of Ben’s baby cologne and their combined warmth defined _home_ in a totally different and yet familiar way to Noah, making him push his tongue past the barrier of Kurt’s lips and teeth and moan into Kurt’s mouth. Kurt sighed and grabbed a fistful of Noah’s jacket to pull him closer the same time Noah freed his right arm to wrap it around Kurt’s waist.  
  
The kiss could have gone on and on and on had Ben not started squirming in protest between them to be set loose on the floor, from where he proceeded to get Noah’s hand and attempted to pull him towards the couch.  
  
“Nono, sit. Papa, come.”  
  
They grinned at each other and did as they were told, sitting side by side in Noah’s leather couch. Ben climbed his way up to Noah’s lap and a new tale was babbled his way, the kind where Noah got two words out of ten the kiddo spilled at him among lots of giggling and hand waving and the occasional _Oh_ and _Ah_ Noah threw his way. Over the top of Ben’s head Kurt watched them with eyes shining with something Noah was afraid of calling adoration, because if he were wrong…  
  
But Kurt looked so free and ready snuggled against his side, with one arm going all the way around Ben only to have his hand rest against Noah’s stomach, locking them in a sort of embrace that made Noah want to believe he wasn’t setting himself up for a fall. Not again.  
  
 ***g*l*e*e***  
  
Noah woke up to the smell of homemade tomato sauce simmering in the kitchen and the baby weight of a sleeping Ben on his chest. God, he had been really tired if he had managed to fall asleep during Ben’s constant chatter. The kiddo was an apple that hadn’t fallen far from the tree, nothing but demanding of his audience’s attention, just like his papa.  
  
Speaking of Ben’s papa…  
  
Noah settled Ben in the couch figuring the kiddo would be fine for five minutes while he talked with Kurt. The empty duffel on the coffee table clued Noah in on where Kurt might be.  
  
“Hey,” Noah said from the last step that led to the basement where Kurt was sorting their laundry.  
  
“Good afternoon, sleepy head. Feeling better now?”  
  
Noah moved closer and wrapped his arms around an unresisting Kurt.  
  
“Would feel much better if I got another kiss.”  
  
Kurt laughed and complied, linking his arms behind Noah’s neck, molding his lean body as far as it would go along Noah’s larger one, fitting against Noah like no one else ever would because this was Kurt and he was one of a kind.  
  
 _The_ one for Noah.  
  
“Missed you, princess.”  
  
“It was only for a day.”  
  
Noah silenced him by pushing his tongue against Kurt’s, because if Kurt couldn’t understand it hadn’t been only for a day, they still had a long way to go before Noah felt comfortable enough to ask Kurt and Ben to move in with him for good.  
  
“You must be hungry,” Kurt said when they came up for air.  
  
“Not for food.”  
  
Kurt chuckled and pushed him away. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait until Ben is in bed.”  
  
“Ben is in bed.” Technically it was the couch, but still…  
  
“Taking a nap he shouldn’t, thanks to you.”  
  
Noah growled and started to transfer their remaining clothes from the machine to the dryer. “What can I do if these guns are so damn comfy?”  
  
“Don’t I know it,” Kurt said with a fond smile that quickly turned into frown as he glared at Noah. “And you’d better not be flashing them at anyone else on these trips, Puckerman.”  
  
The heat flaming Kurt’s warning was like fuel to Noah’s want, and this time when he backed Kurt against the dryer there was no resistance, only two pairs of hands opening jeans and grabbing dicks that would burst at any minute as their moans and blasphemies filled the room while they groped each other.  
  
“God, princess… What you do to me…”  
  
Whatever it was, Kurt enhanced it ten fold by getting on his knees to get a mouthful of Noah in one swift move.  
  
Another move and Noah was convinced Kurt had never heard of something called gag reflex because, really, fuck!  
  
It had been too long, too fucking long.  
  
“Jesus, Kurt… Don’t stop… Please, don’t fucking stop…”  
  
Kurt didn’t, he wouldn’t because Kurt knew like no one else how to drive Noah insane, how to suck Noah’s dick to the point of draining any coherence out of Noah with little to none effort.  
  
And today it was too easy. They hadn’t fucked since Wednesday… and now… Oh, God, that thing with the tongue and the hands fondling his balls…  
  
Shit! Kurt needed to stop. Noah wanted to come inside of him. He needed…  
  
“Oh, shit!”  
  
Too late.  
  
Kurt swallowed everything Noah had to offer and more, if the hands on Noah’s butt pushing him forward meant something. But, dear God, he had nothing left, not after…  
  
“I… Sweet Jesus, I need to lie down.”  
  
Noah sagged to the floor where Kurt welcomed him into his arms for a lingering kiss.  
  
“Have your manly urges gotten enough until we put Ben to bed?”  
  
“Why… wait so long?”  
  
“First because Ben is about to wake up; second because I’m actually hungry; and third because, because we don’t… have any supplies here in the basement.”  
  
In the very end there were eyes avoiding his, skin burning into a deeper shade of red, back turned to Noah and hands once again full with their clean but damp laundry, a high pitched voice fading to nothing but to a bunch of mumbled words…  
  
Oh!  
  
So that was it. It wasn’t Ben, it wasn’t hunger. It was because… they didn’t have any _supplies_ in the basement. They could get creative about the lube, but-  
  
No. Fucking. Condoms.  
  
God, Noah couldn’t even conjure up this thought at once; that Kurt didn’t want…  
  
He gently pushed Kurt away and got back on his feet to tuck his dick back into his jeans and get the hell away from Kurt and from things that would not be because Kurt still wanted him to wear a damn condom when they had sex!  
  
“Noah-“  
  
“I’ll toss a salad to go with the spaghetti and wake Ben while you finish here. Your son is always hungry after a nap. Well, he’s Sam’s kid, so that makes sense.”  
  
The dryer door got closed with a bang and Noah braced himself to face the fury of Kurt lashing words at Noah that in high school would have made little to non sense to him. But now Noah was an adult with a college degree and more than ready to lash back at anything this grown up version of a pissed off Kurt fired his way.  
  
Instead it was a Kurt as pale as the sheet tangled in his trembling hands that turned to face him.  
  
“My son? Sam’s kid? That’s all Ben is to you now?”  
  
 _No, Kurt; he’s just all the kids I’ll never have with you._  
  
“You know that’s not true,” Noah said, taking a deep breath. “I just had never pictured this before.”  
  
“What? Pictured what?”  
  
“That I would still be throwing kids in dumpsters in my adult life,” Noah said hating himself for feeling so small and bitter and, and… sad.  
  
The misery shining in Kurt’s eyes and in how lost he was for words, however, made Noah feel worse, dirtier and lower than a pile of smelly shit lying in the street.  
  
“You know what, forget it,” Noah said, taking a step towards Kurt to kiss his forehead. “I guess I’m still tired from the trip and stuff.”  
  
“Noah, if you’re this mad about this we should talk.”  
  
“I’m not mad, princess,” Noah threw over his shoulder with his mask back in place before he ran back upstairs to victimize some lettuce, tomatoes and the radishes Kurt liked in his salad. Then he would wake Ben up and spoil his kid with a shipload of kisses and bonding time to remind him of the things that were really important.  
  
Still the sad part was Noah wasn’t mad at Kurt, at Sam, nor at anybody, but being this kind of miserable definitely felt worse.  
  
 ***g*l*e*e***  
  
They had a tense lunch filled by long stretches of silence and some small talk that felt as awkward as the one they had had after the first time they had fucked. Somehow today hurt more because they had come such a long way to go back to this. Noah knew this tension was his entire fault, but damn, they were talking about his kids.  
  
Only they weren’t, because Noah never brought up to Kurt how badly he wanted Kurt to have his babies. Kurt, on the other hand, never gave Noah the slightest, tiniest hint that he someday would be willing to bear Noah’s offspring.  
  
In the end the air in the house got so thick and heavy Ben would start whimpering out of the blue. Then it became too much and Kurt started to pack the baby’s things in the living room.  
  
Noah froze behind the desk in his tiny office.  
  
They never packed anything until Ben was done playing.  
  
When Kurt took Ben upstairs, Noah closed the door to his office and let himself fall on the overstuffed armchair that had belonged to Noah’s grandpa and that Kurt one day had dragged up from the basement to put it in the corner next to Noah’s desk.  
  
Noah laughed in despair.  
  
That chair was there because that’s where Kurt liked to curl with his sketch book on the nights Noah brought work home with him and they both had to stay up until late.  
  
That was the chair Kurt would sit and tell him about his day and how being a freelance fashion designer sometimes suck while Noah filled in checks to pay the bills.  
  
That was the chair Ben would sit in with his toys when he found the door to the office open and distract Noah from any work with all his baby talk and constant _Nono, listen_.  
  
God, that was the chair Noah would ask Finn to pack (right along with a well deserved left hook of Finn’s to Noah’s eye) and have sent to Kurt when Kurt and Ben moved out of Noah’s house even before they had officially moved in.  
  
What the fuck had he done and how much groveling and begging would Noah have to do before Kurt took him back?  
  
And Ben? Jesus, how would he survive without his sweet baby there to make his house more than a pile of brick and concrete, to make his house a home?  
  
The door to the office clicked open and a second later there was a pair of tiny hands shaking his knees.  
  
“Nono, park,” Ben said with teary blue eyes sparkling at Noah. He was wearing the cute denim jacket they had bought that one time Noah had been fool enough to let Kurt talk him into going with them for some ice cream at the mall.  
  
Would he ever have the chance to do that again, take his boys out for some ice cream that would turn into another shopping spree and-  
  
But, wait. What, park?  
  
“Sorry, little buddy. What did you say?”  
  
“We’re going to the park,” Kurt said from his place at the doorway, where he was standing with a lot of attitude and the Sesame Street knapsack they used to carry some toys for Ben when they went out on his shoulder.  
  
So they weren’t, his boys weren’t-  
  
“To the park,” Noah stammered, racking his fingers through the short curls of his hair in relief. “Okay, all right. I have to read a few proposals anyway. There are more people interested in our services in Toledo and-”  
  
“Puckerman, shut up.” Noah did, right away, because he would take any kind of abuse if it meant his boys wouldn’t leave him. “I said _we_ are going to the park. You have five minutes to get ready.”  
  
Three minutes later Noah was walking down the street towards the little park in the neighborhood hand in hand with Ben and with Kurt by his side.  
  
 ***g*l*e*e***  
  
For the next couple of hours Noah and Ben played tag, played ball and rolled on the grass until their lungs couldn’t get enough of their laughter. Noah changed Ben’s diaper and helped him drink grape juice with a straw. He got to drive Ben’s attention away from the cotton candy vendor and scrap the baby’s jeans clean so Kurt wouldn’t berate them too much later. And he got to, to-  
  
He got to play Daddy to Ben and realize how much crap could come from his mouth when he wasn’t paying attention.  
  
When he understood, finally understood, he looked at Kurt, who was sitting under a tree with his sketch book lying forgotten in his lap not too far from them, but distant enough to just let Noah be.  
  
He caught Kurt looking at him and Ben in deep concentration, a small smile curving the corners of his lips until he noticed he had been caught.  
  
Kurt irked an eyebrow as if daring Noah to say something. Noah just ducked his head while Kurt shook his and got back to the random sketches he liked to draw when he needed to unwind, both of their smiles still firmly in place.  
  
 ***g*l*e*e***  
  
“Lately it seems there is this thing bothering you, making you sad…” Kurt trailed off while sketching in his armchair. “I didn’t know you felt that way about…”  
  
“Not all the time,” Noah said, putting the proposals he had been reading on the desk. “But sometimes…”  
  
“Sometimes…” Kurt said softly, encouraging Noah to talk, willing to have that conversation Noah couldn’t make himself carry on because, thinking about it, there wasn’t much to say. Kurt had buried his husband less than two years ago. When you loved someone the way Noah knew Kurt had loved Sam it must feel like having happened, what, just yesterday?  
  
Still, there Kurt was, listening, sketching; sharing his son, his life with Noah, sitting in that chair like he belonged, like he was trying to tell Noah he was there, that they had the rest of their lives to make things happen for them.  
  
If Noah only knew all Kurt needed was time… But it was too early to ask if Noah was the only one who dreamed.  
  
The tip of the pencil ran smoothly on the paper, but sometimes Kurt put a little more intent in the lines he was tracing, producing those little scritch-scratch sounds Noah had come to rely on so much. It wasn’t as deep as the way Kurt breathed his name when he fell asleep on Noah’s shoulder, but it was almost as intimate.  
  
As intimate as being inside of Kurt, as intimate as spilling inside of Kurt, as intimate as impregnating Kurt.  
  
“Sometimes I’ll need you to set me straight.”  
  
Kurt smiled without taking his eyes off the paper, and after a while Noah got back to his reading. It was way after ten and tomorrow it was back to a week with plenty of work to keep his mind from wandering towards things he just had to believe one day would be in stock for them.  
  
The sound of tearing paper made him look away from his papers. Kurt was standing before him stretching like a lazy cat, two pages of his sketch book dangling from his fingers.  
  
“I’ll check on Ben and then I’m off to bed. Will it take you too long?”  
  
“This is the last one. I’ll be right behind you.”  
  
“Okay, then,” he said, kissing Noah before leaving the pages he had just sketched on the top of Noah’s proposals. “You know where I’ll be.”  
  
It took a second for Noah to stop grinning at the closed door and go back to his reading.  
  
And then, once his eyes landed on Kurt’s sketches, it took him what felt like a lifetime to start breathing again.  
  
They were two simple sketches: the first one from just earlier in the day, both him and Ben, Ben on his chest, asleep in the couch, while the other one held a promise for the future:  
  
Noah smiling with tears in his eyes at the newborn baby in his arms.  
  
 ***g*l*e*e*  
Thanks for reading.**


End file.
